If you find it hard to make decisions, or believe you have no choice about what you do with your life, there may be something in your choice strategy that you might want to think about adjusting.
Here are a few (all right, a lot) of questions you might consider. Not all of them will apply to you, but if they do, think about what a different strategy for choosing could do for you.
“To chose or not to chose, that is the question…”
If you chose to choose what would you choose?
- When does choice require consciousness, how often do you choose without thinking about it?
- What is the difference between choice and decision?
- What stops you choosing?
- When is not choosing a choice in itself?
- What are the consequences?
What influences your choices? (chance, evidence, gut feeling, circumstance, other people, fate, what else?)
- What gets between you and your choices?
How do you choose?
What rules do you give yourself for choice?
- For example, you might allow yourself indulgences, or there could be an ought/must/should operating for your choice strategy.
- Must every choice be either-or, neither-nor, yes or no?
- Can it be a little of this, a dash of that, a handful of those, a sack full of these?
How quickly do you choose? Is it instinct, reaction, deliberation, reflection, procrastination….
How much does safety influence your choices?
If you need permission, whose permission is it? Are you sure?
When is ‘can’t’ really ‘won’t’ or ‘don’t want to’?
What is so impossible about impossibility?
Do you know what the right choice is?
When faced by apparently equally bad options, what do you do?
- How do your beliefs about the world, yourself, other people, shape your choices?
- Is there a moral factor, a congruence? Does it feel right, or just less wrong?
What do you take into account when choosing?
Perhaps you second guess the future, like a game of chess, thinking five moves ahead – this choice will lead to…If I do this, then I will … /want to be able to …
Having considered all these questions
- What patterns do you recognise in the way you make ( or don’t make) choices?
- What do you want to do differently?
- How will that help you?
copyright Cherry Potts, Change from Choice 2009